it's a clock

Everything is so fucking petty now.

I’ve always wondered how meaningful my life is in the grand scheme of things. Most likely minuscule at best. It never occurred to me that time was this limited. I should’ve spent more days with him. Never have I dreaded going to a place so far from home, but I should’ve cherished it, rather than despise it asking, “When are we going back home?” Yes I was a child, but what kind of excuse is that? I’m still human aren’t I? I’ve learned how to empathize and care haven’t I? Nothing I do truly matters, but I keep going. Am I just a shell of a person I am pretending to be? What are my goals? What do I really care about? I’ll find out in time, I guess. The impact I have on others will probably be the only thing that will ever be remembered. I feel the need to care more about this, but I barely knew him. Is it the distance that keeps me from feeling? Everything I do is just to keep me content, whatever that means. No activity in the world will really mean anything, everything is a distraction from our impending demise. We have one life to live and that’s about it. I just wish I spent more time with him.

I’ve decided that…

this will be my tumblr away from old tumblr.

i just don’t know.

i need to refocus my priorities.

Overall,

a good day.